Post by George WK Newman on Apr 12, 2010 22:39:07 GMT -5
~episode listing~
1.01 - "Cowboy Bob, Icy Trout, & Kaiser rolls on the floor"
Acasio and Stuffy are hired by Mr. Ferguson (unaffectionately known as "Fat Fergie"), but they never actually get to meet Fergie, only hear him through the intercom. Their orientation is done by "Bob" the first assistant who pleasantly tells them both not to screw up. He says Acasio will probably make it because he's "ethnic" but Stuffy being a white male won't make it a month. He also tells them this will be their last shift with the "A-team" during the day, their shifts, for the next 22 years will be the evening shift.
Acasio and Stuffy have a conversation after work in the locker room about how Bob was such a jerk, and then go on to speculate why (his lack of sex life, his still wetting his bed, etc). Only to realize when someone leaves that they were overheard, but have no idea by whom.
Their first night shift they meet the "Sheik" who tells them there are 3 ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the "Sheik's way". He tells them to forget everything that Cowboy Bob taught them and that everyone does things his way on the evening shift. We have fun, and no one gets hurt, just don't be a stooge.
Sheik reams out Stuffy for filling the kaiser buns by hand. He picks up the huge box and pours them in the bin. About a half dozen fall out, which Sheik tells Stuff to do the match "college boy". The buns aren't worth the overpaid money they get on the union job.
They also meet the evening head cashier, Vera, who leaves their tongues hanging out of their mouths. Sheik tells them they are wasting their time. Stuffy asks why they call him Sheik to which he says its his Arab blood, and then he takes off his shirt, while still in the bakery section, to reveal the hariest chest and back one could imagine.
Then they are introduced to another Friday night ritual watching their favorite customer Kelly LeBrock pick out fresh produce. Acasio doesn't believe it is really Kelly LeBrock from "Weird Science". So to prove it he appraoches her and asks if its true that her ex-hsuband Steven Seagal was really in the CIA. At first she just smiles at him, and then caresses his cheek, before bursting into tears. Poor Acasio is stuck consoling this former beauty who now appears to be a wreck.
Sheik takes the newbies out for a beer after work and they are joined by some of their colleagues. But Acasio can't find his shoes so he goes without them to the bar. At the end of the night he finds them back in his car filled with ice and trout. Sheik warns them once the boys get going on them they better fire back.
1.02 – Rites of Passage are Three
The boys are told the 3 rites of passage to beomce one of the dudes; promotion, prank, and Patti. Stuffy misses his grad to work so the Dudes throw a party for him after work. Stuffy confides in Acasio that he doesn't have much of a life, or friends, and that is why he skipped his grad.
1.03 – My Momma Don't Dance
Acasio falls prank to the dudes. One of them convinces Acasio to get Scrappy off his back that he can make friends by asking Scrappy about his mother’s dancing. Scrappy is a short, but extremely muscular evening clerk who seems to always have a chip on his shoulder and has been riding the newbies without mercy.
Stuffy see's a former pro wrestler that was a childhood idol shopping for produce. When he asks Stuffy to help him pick out a good cabbage Stuffy jokes that maybe he should be looking for cauliflower, as in cauliflower ears. The wrestler who looks a few fries short of a McHappy meal takes offense, and Stuffy keeps digging himself in deeper until the wrestler scoops him up and bodyslams him on the apple display.
When Acasio finally works up the courange to ask Scrappy grabs him around the neck, and turning red in the face demands to know who put him up to it. Acasio is scared but refuses to say who. Scrappy says his mom can't dance because she's in a wheelchair, and Acasio goes white as a ghost. Stuffy comes by and tries to rescue Acasio, and tells Scrappy it was the dudes who put him up to it. Scrappy lets Acasio go, and tells him he's all right, he knew it was a prank, and him Mom isn't in a wheelchair. It's an oldie but a goodie. He turns his attention on to Stuffy though and calls him a rat fink that will never be part of the dudes now. Stuffy gets beat up by a pro wrestler over cauliflower ears comment.
1.04 – Cougar Hunting
The dudes take the newbies out to the bar after work, Patti, a well known Cougar from the deli, hits on Stuffy who actually goes for it, much to the surprise of the dudes. He only gets as far as some heavy panting in the car though before the dudes drag him out. They tell him that Patti is Wild Bill (the crazy tow-truck driving biker from night crew's girlfriend). The next night Wild Bill comes into the store which is unusual to visit Patti and beginst to hunt down Stuffy. Stuffy does his best to get his work done while hiding out from Wild Bill. Finally Wild Bill catches up to him and Stuffy is on his knees begging him not to hurt him, when Wild Bill says he got a message that Stuffy was looking for him. The dudes come out laughing and pull Stuffy away after their sucessful prank, leaving Wild Bill scratching his head.
Vera gets in trouble for telling someone not to smoke in the store. When the customer replies that if they sell them then he should be able to use them in the store, she tells him that they also sell toilet paper but she better not see him wiping his butt in the express line either.
1.05 – Trailer Park
The dudes pull a prank that goes wrong when they lock one of their own, Derek, in a trailer. that takes off. The dudes took an unauthorized long break in the storeroom, hiding out in the semi-trailer there, eating chips, drinking softdrinks, etc. But they also slipped some sleeping pills into Derek's Coke and waited until he nodded off and left him there. The plan was to get him out at the end of the shift, as usually the truck drivers come when the store is closed to take the trailer of empties to the warehouse. But the driver happened to come early, not noticing Derek and pulled away. The dudes try to break into the trailer lot at head office and get busted by the security officers, but they manage to get Derek out of the locked trailer. The dudes have to get bailed out by Bob who is irrate, and Fat Fergie who rants at the warehouse security for waking him up (but we never see Fergie).
Meanwhile during their shift Acasio and Stuffy try and help sober up a solvent addict who they catch trying to drink mouthwash but don't have the heart to throw him out on the street or call the cops.
1.06 – Going Banannas
Acasio and Stuffy get promoted but Stuffy is sent to Produce (with the geeks) instead of grocery with the dudes. He tries his best to fit in the with dudes but gets the cold shoulder. He also gets to know some of the misfits from produce and finds that he really does fit in well with them. Sheik gets transferred, but no one seems to care except for Acasio and Stuffy who act like the sky is falling.
1.07 – Prankees
Stuffy plays his first prank on a newbie bagger. He tells them to take everything off Fat Fergie's wall and desk and put it into shopping carts because the managers office is being painted tomorrow. He means to get them to undo it all at the end of the night once Sheik see's it and flips out, but he ends up having to accompany Sheik to the hospital when an older employee has a heart attack. No one undoes the damage and Bob is in the next evening trying to track down who was responsible.
Acasio also plays his first prank sending a newbie up a huge ladder to change the store sign in the rain where as usual the "F" in Food has burned out.
Sheik returns triumphantly sent back by the other store who didn’t want him. The dudes inform the newbies this happens a couple times a year.
1.08 – Zen and the Art of Honeydew Maintenance
guest star; Steven Seagal
Stuffy becomes convinced that Steven Seagal is stocking his ex-wife Kelly LeBrock in the store, and tries to protect her. He ends up in a face to face confrontation with Seagal, but instead of getting punched out Seagal just talks nonsens and uses Zen on Stuffy until the young man passes out from mental exhaustion.
Acasio catches someone trying to steal his car out of the parking lot. He gives chase when the car thief obviously can't drive a standard and is pulled through the parking lot with his feet hanging out the window. All the while the crazy regulars watch and cheer and place bets on the outcome.
1.09 – Kid Dyno-Mite
guest star; J.J. Walker
J.J. Walker comes to the store, and Stuffy tries to stay out of trouble, remembering his encounter with the pro wrestler. But Acasio blows it by making comments when JJ buys a watermelon, getting him in deep trouble. Vera saves the boys bacon by distracting JJ with some innocent flirting and promising to go see his comedy show that night. She invites Stuffy and Acasio to go to the show with him and the boys end up in an argument with a couple other comics there, and Acasio on a dare takes to the stage, only to get jeered right off.
1.10 – Tessa the Tornado
Acasio opens up a pizza place and tries to get Stuffy to slide him some produce on the side, marked down as distressed produce. Stuffy wrestles with the decision of friendship versus his own sense of right and wrong.
Kelly LeBrock takes a script Stuffy is working on to an agent friend but its turned down leaving Stuffy depressed.
When Bob begins to hang out at the store in the evening the crew realizes he has a crush on one of the new young baggers but he's driving them nuts. So the crew convince Bob to give her a day job despite the fact that she is a total klutz and Sheik was in the process of getting her fired.
Acasio closes down his pizza place letting Stuffy off the hook with his moral decision.
1.11 – Chris the Sixth
Acasio and Stuffy try and warn Chris a newbie grocery clerk not to take a managers position but he does anyway, officially he is the new 6th manager (meaning he is 6th in the pecking order). The Dudes make Chris' life miserable when he uses his insider knowledge of their antics to try and straighten them up, until Chris finally snaps.
The crew hunt a cat sized rat in the backroom using the powerjacks to try and corner it and run it over.
1.12 – Side Swipe
The day after one of the cashiers Vinnie side swipes some snacks for Stuffy (passing them by scanner so they don't scan, and giving them to Stuffy for free) Vinnie is fired for theft from the till. Stuffy is paranoid that the managers know about the side swipes and waits for the axe to fall, which never does.
Acasio tries to hide from sight because of his long hair that he has been growing for his rock band, when Bob comes for an evening shift inspection.
1.13 – Mystery Meet
After a more stressful then usual shift the crew participates in strip turkey bowling.
The crew is tipped off that Bob has sent a ghost shopper into the store to assess customer service levels and for once are on their best behaviour while trying to figure out the identity of the mystery shopper.
Acasio and Stuffy try and catch a kid who keeps using the store intercom, for inappropriate messages.
1.14 – Uncivil War
When hours are cut the crew begin a work to rule campaign in protest, only to realize that they already slack so much no one notices when they launch their disobiedience.
A bomb threat is called in and tempers flare between produce and grocery culminating in a tomato versus egg fight that leaves even Sheik furious at the staff.
1.15 – Greener Pastures
guest star;
Acasio, Stuffy, and some of the other crew members are sent for an all day seminar on customer service at head office. But they are driven to drink on their lunch hour out of boredom and then try and hide Acasio’s inebriation in the afternoon.
On a store tour the crew see how the other half live at the “Foodwise Grocers” in the plush Hollywood Hills.
guest stars in character as from the TBA show .
1.16 – Rent A Cop
Management hires security guards for the store which only seems to make the loonie customers even more aggravated so the crew try to distract and neutralize security. But it all explodes when Sheik is stabbed trying to break up an argument between a customer and security. He is rushed to the hospital accompanied by Acasio and Stuffy.
1.01 - "Cowboy Bob, Icy Trout, & Kaiser rolls on the floor"
Acasio and Stuffy are hired by Mr. Ferguson (unaffectionately known as "Fat Fergie"), but they never actually get to meet Fergie, only hear him through the intercom. Their orientation is done by "Bob" the first assistant who pleasantly tells them both not to screw up. He says Acasio will probably make it because he's "ethnic" but Stuffy being a white male won't make it a month. He also tells them this will be their last shift with the "A-team" during the day, their shifts, for the next 22 years will be the evening shift.
Acasio and Stuffy have a conversation after work in the locker room about how Bob was such a jerk, and then go on to speculate why (his lack of sex life, his still wetting his bed, etc). Only to realize when someone leaves that they were overheard, but have no idea by whom.
Their first night shift they meet the "Sheik" who tells them there are 3 ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the "Sheik's way". He tells them to forget everything that Cowboy Bob taught them and that everyone does things his way on the evening shift. We have fun, and no one gets hurt, just don't be a stooge.
Sheik reams out Stuffy for filling the kaiser buns by hand. He picks up the huge box and pours them in the bin. About a half dozen fall out, which Sheik tells Stuff to do the match "college boy". The buns aren't worth the overpaid money they get on the union job.
They also meet the evening head cashier, Vera, who leaves their tongues hanging out of their mouths. Sheik tells them they are wasting their time. Stuffy asks why they call him Sheik to which he says its his Arab blood, and then he takes off his shirt, while still in the bakery section, to reveal the hariest chest and back one could imagine.
Then they are introduced to another Friday night ritual watching their favorite customer Kelly LeBrock pick out fresh produce. Acasio doesn't believe it is really Kelly LeBrock from "Weird Science". So to prove it he appraoches her and asks if its true that her ex-hsuband Steven Seagal was really in the CIA. At first she just smiles at him, and then caresses his cheek, before bursting into tears. Poor Acasio is stuck consoling this former beauty who now appears to be a wreck.
Sheik takes the newbies out for a beer after work and they are joined by some of their colleagues. But Acasio can't find his shoes so he goes without them to the bar. At the end of the night he finds them back in his car filled with ice and trout. Sheik warns them once the boys get going on them they better fire back.
1.02 – Rites of Passage are Three
The boys are told the 3 rites of passage to beomce one of the dudes; promotion, prank, and Patti. Stuffy misses his grad to work so the Dudes throw a party for him after work. Stuffy confides in Acasio that he doesn't have much of a life, or friends, and that is why he skipped his grad.
1.03 – My Momma Don't Dance
Acasio falls prank to the dudes. One of them convinces Acasio to get Scrappy off his back that he can make friends by asking Scrappy about his mother’s dancing. Scrappy is a short, but extremely muscular evening clerk who seems to always have a chip on his shoulder and has been riding the newbies without mercy.
Stuffy see's a former pro wrestler that was a childhood idol shopping for produce. When he asks Stuffy to help him pick out a good cabbage Stuffy jokes that maybe he should be looking for cauliflower, as in cauliflower ears. The wrestler who looks a few fries short of a McHappy meal takes offense, and Stuffy keeps digging himself in deeper until the wrestler scoops him up and bodyslams him on the apple display.
When Acasio finally works up the courange to ask Scrappy grabs him around the neck, and turning red in the face demands to know who put him up to it. Acasio is scared but refuses to say who. Scrappy says his mom can't dance because she's in a wheelchair, and Acasio goes white as a ghost. Stuffy comes by and tries to rescue Acasio, and tells Scrappy it was the dudes who put him up to it. Scrappy lets Acasio go, and tells him he's all right, he knew it was a prank, and him Mom isn't in a wheelchair. It's an oldie but a goodie. He turns his attention on to Stuffy though and calls him a rat fink that will never be part of the dudes now. Stuffy gets beat up by a pro wrestler over cauliflower ears comment.
1.04 – Cougar Hunting
The dudes take the newbies out to the bar after work, Patti, a well known Cougar from the deli, hits on Stuffy who actually goes for it, much to the surprise of the dudes. He only gets as far as some heavy panting in the car though before the dudes drag him out. They tell him that Patti is Wild Bill (the crazy tow-truck driving biker from night crew's girlfriend). The next night Wild Bill comes into the store which is unusual to visit Patti and beginst to hunt down Stuffy. Stuffy does his best to get his work done while hiding out from Wild Bill. Finally Wild Bill catches up to him and Stuffy is on his knees begging him not to hurt him, when Wild Bill says he got a message that Stuffy was looking for him. The dudes come out laughing and pull Stuffy away after their sucessful prank, leaving Wild Bill scratching his head.
Vera gets in trouble for telling someone not to smoke in the store. When the customer replies that if they sell them then he should be able to use them in the store, she tells him that they also sell toilet paper but she better not see him wiping his butt in the express line either.
1.05 – Trailer Park
The dudes pull a prank that goes wrong when they lock one of their own, Derek, in a trailer. that takes off. The dudes took an unauthorized long break in the storeroom, hiding out in the semi-trailer there, eating chips, drinking softdrinks, etc. But they also slipped some sleeping pills into Derek's Coke and waited until he nodded off and left him there. The plan was to get him out at the end of the shift, as usually the truck drivers come when the store is closed to take the trailer of empties to the warehouse. But the driver happened to come early, not noticing Derek and pulled away. The dudes try to break into the trailer lot at head office and get busted by the security officers, but they manage to get Derek out of the locked trailer. The dudes have to get bailed out by Bob who is irrate, and Fat Fergie who rants at the warehouse security for waking him up (but we never see Fergie).
Meanwhile during their shift Acasio and Stuffy try and help sober up a solvent addict who they catch trying to drink mouthwash but don't have the heart to throw him out on the street or call the cops.
1.06 – Going Banannas
Acasio and Stuffy get promoted but Stuffy is sent to Produce (with the geeks) instead of grocery with the dudes. He tries his best to fit in the with dudes but gets the cold shoulder. He also gets to know some of the misfits from produce and finds that he really does fit in well with them. Sheik gets transferred, but no one seems to care except for Acasio and Stuffy who act like the sky is falling.
1.07 – Prankees
Stuffy plays his first prank on a newbie bagger. He tells them to take everything off Fat Fergie's wall and desk and put it into shopping carts because the managers office is being painted tomorrow. He means to get them to undo it all at the end of the night once Sheik see's it and flips out, but he ends up having to accompany Sheik to the hospital when an older employee has a heart attack. No one undoes the damage and Bob is in the next evening trying to track down who was responsible.
Acasio also plays his first prank sending a newbie up a huge ladder to change the store sign in the rain where as usual the "F" in Food has burned out.
Sheik returns triumphantly sent back by the other store who didn’t want him. The dudes inform the newbies this happens a couple times a year.
1.08 – Zen and the Art of Honeydew Maintenance
guest star; Steven Seagal
Stuffy becomes convinced that Steven Seagal is stocking his ex-wife Kelly LeBrock in the store, and tries to protect her. He ends up in a face to face confrontation with Seagal, but instead of getting punched out Seagal just talks nonsens and uses Zen on Stuffy until the young man passes out from mental exhaustion.
Acasio catches someone trying to steal his car out of the parking lot. He gives chase when the car thief obviously can't drive a standard and is pulled through the parking lot with his feet hanging out the window. All the while the crazy regulars watch and cheer and place bets on the outcome.
1.09 – Kid Dyno-Mite
guest star; J.J. Walker
J.J. Walker comes to the store, and Stuffy tries to stay out of trouble, remembering his encounter with the pro wrestler. But Acasio blows it by making comments when JJ buys a watermelon, getting him in deep trouble. Vera saves the boys bacon by distracting JJ with some innocent flirting and promising to go see his comedy show that night. She invites Stuffy and Acasio to go to the show with him and the boys end up in an argument with a couple other comics there, and Acasio on a dare takes to the stage, only to get jeered right off.
1.10 – Tessa the Tornado
Acasio opens up a pizza place and tries to get Stuffy to slide him some produce on the side, marked down as distressed produce. Stuffy wrestles with the decision of friendship versus his own sense of right and wrong.
Kelly LeBrock takes a script Stuffy is working on to an agent friend but its turned down leaving Stuffy depressed.
When Bob begins to hang out at the store in the evening the crew realizes he has a crush on one of the new young baggers but he's driving them nuts. So the crew convince Bob to give her a day job despite the fact that she is a total klutz and Sheik was in the process of getting her fired.
Acasio closes down his pizza place letting Stuffy off the hook with his moral decision.
1.11 – Chris the Sixth
Acasio and Stuffy try and warn Chris a newbie grocery clerk not to take a managers position but he does anyway, officially he is the new 6th manager (meaning he is 6th in the pecking order). The Dudes make Chris' life miserable when he uses his insider knowledge of their antics to try and straighten them up, until Chris finally snaps.
The crew hunt a cat sized rat in the backroom using the powerjacks to try and corner it and run it over.
1.12 – Side Swipe
The day after one of the cashiers Vinnie side swipes some snacks for Stuffy (passing them by scanner so they don't scan, and giving them to Stuffy for free) Vinnie is fired for theft from the till. Stuffy is paranoid that the managers know about the side swipes and waits for the axe to fall, which never does.
Acasio tries to hide from sight because of his long hair that he has been growing for his rock band, when Bob comes for an evening shift inspection.
1.13 – Mystery Meet
After a more stressful then usual shift the crew participates in strip turkey bowling.
The crew is tipped off that Bob has sent a ghost shopper into the store to assess customer service levels and for once are on their best behaviour while trying to figure out the identity of the mystery shopper.
Acasio and Stuffy try and catch a kid who keeps using the store intercom, for inappropriate messages.
1.14 – Uncivil War
When hours are cut the crew begin a work to rule campaign in protest, only to realize that they already slack so much no one notices when they launch their disobiedience.
A bomb threat is called in and tempers flare between produce and grocery culminating in a tomato versus egg fight that leaves even Sheik furious at the staff.
1.15 – Greener Pastures
guest star;
Acasio, Stuffy, and some of the other crew members are sent for an all day seminar on customer service at head office. But they are driven to drink on their lunch hour out of boredom and then try and hide Acasio’s inebriation in the afternoon.
On a store tour the crew see how the other half live at the “Foodwise Grocers” in the plush Hollywood Hills.
guest stars in character as from the TBA show .1.16 – Rent A Cop
Management hires security guards for the store which only seems to make the loonie customers even more aggravated so the crew try to distract and neutralize security. But it all explodes when Sheik is stabbed trying to break up an argument between a customer and security. He is rushed to the hospital accompanied by Acasio and Stuffy.